Mark Twain Quotes
All kings is mostly rapscallions.
Virtue never has been as respectable as money.
Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Put all your eggs in one basket - and watch that basket!
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
There has been only one Christian. They caught him and crucified him–early.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology.
The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.
Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.